A couple of weeks ago, we hosted a group of my closest friends and their families for a Sunday Funday playdate. The dads have met at birthday parties and whatnot but never spend much time getting to know each other. It was so much fun having everyone together! Whenever I share what this crew is up to on Instagram stories, a few moms typically reach out, asking for tips on how to find a group of mom friends. We finally snapped a group photo on Sunday, so I figured now’s the perfect time to share a few tips for finding mom friends!
Even though some of us have known each other for five years or so, we became close last fall when we organized a bible study centered around friendship. We met every Monday night for six weeks leading up to Thanksgiving. Was it a time commitment? Yes. Did a miss nearly half of them because of Trent’s work? Yes. But opening our hearts for a more in-depth conversation grew our friendship leaps and bounds. If bible study isn’t your thing, you could try a book club, running club, cookbook club, or heck, even a wine club.
I know a group of moms in our neighborhood who all love a specific work out class. They utilize the gym’s childcare, so they’re able to spend time together sans kids and get in a good workout at the same time.
All six of us own businesses, so we get each other on another level. We have similar interests and struggles – trying to juggle work but also making time for ourselves, our kids, and so on. I think it’s essential for friendship to connect on something other than your children.
I know it can feel weird to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but giving a compliment is an easy and genuine way to connect. It can be a simple as complimenting her floral yoga pants, or maybe you like her crossbody purse or rose gold sneakers? Making another mom feel better about herself will put a smile on her face and make you feel great, too!
I know sometimes making new friends can feel like dating, but some of the best friendships I have started by putting myself out there. Inviting a mama and her kiddo(s) over for a playdate is a great place to start. If you feel awkward about it, opt for the 5 pm-6 pm time frame and have some Chick-fil-a for the kiddos and a chilled bottle of wine and cheese for the mamas. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy..I’ve found people open up when they feel comfortable.
SocialMama and Peanut are two apps that help connect moms based on interests, location, kids’ age, etc. I’ve met the moms behind SocialMama, and what they’ve accomplished so far is impressive. They can connect moms going through similar situations – anything from postpartum, dietary restrictions, allergies, and special needs.
There are times when it would be easier to stay home, turn on Cocomelon for Piper and relax on the couch. But I’ve realized getting there is half the battle. I feel so much better when I get us both out of the house and interact with other moms and kiddos. Our group tries our best to get together once a month with the kiddos and once without. It doesn’t always happen, especially with a few tiny babies in the mix, but we do our best. We also have a text thread, so we keep each other updated, ask for prayers when our husbands are gone, or our babies are sick. The majority of the time, anything one of us is faced with, another mom has also been there.
It might sound silly, but hang with me for a minute. One of the girls in our group has a serious love for almond milk lattes. When she was in the trenches with a newborn, I knew exactly how to make her day. Even if I can’t be there, I can have one delivered, and she’ll know I’m thinking of her and I care. Technology is amazing nowadays, and I have stuff delivered to friends often. If I know you’re having a bad day, there’s a solid chance you’re favorite treat will show up at your doorstep!
Motherhood can be very isolating, and as someone who suffered from postpartum depression and anxiety, I know I couldn’t do it without these women in my life. And on a not so positive note, I think it’s important to mention not every friendship works out. Invest in the relationships that enrich your life, make you want to be a better person, and love your babies like they are their own.